Unnecessary Food List

 I find some food extremely unnecessary.  The white cream on top of  trifle is one, sugar added to strawberry is another. Deep fried shredded cabbage; AKA crispy sea weed is the TOP number 1.  Sliced raw onions are number 2 on my list. Today I had something new I want to add to this list: Waffle non veg hot dog cone.
  I went o Infiniti Mall in Andheri today. I wanted to buy a rubbish bin, a salad bowl and a colander among other things. The loos there are manageable and it is the priority when choosing places to go.  I could not find a salad bowl. Probably they do not have  a large bowl of  three different types of green leaves, rocket, parsley,  grated carrots, julienned red cabbage arranged in an artistic and colour coordinated way and added the most virgin of the olive oils, the juiciest of the lemons and some salt in their gourmet culture.  Nope. This is a mouth watering fantasy here. This fantasy probably is not accompanied by spaghetti bolognese since colander is not one of the most common items on supermarket shelves. (They have thongs of million types to take fried things out of  boiling oil), hundreds of types of spatulas to turn little capatis, dosas, roti pratas, nans, pittas over. But not a colander. 


After this double disappointment - (triple! I can not find yeast either) I sat down to have a bite to eat. There are safe choices of Mc Donald's ( I can hear people screameing Noooo!) or Subway (Nick is screaming No!!!) or try something I have not eaten before. This inquisitive eating is one of the reasons of weight gain. Why on earth would I  eat anything in a Mall when I live only 10 minutes away?  If I do not try new things then I cannot say to Nick and Kitty  'This  is good, let's eat here.' Besides, you can not aim home whenever you are hungry. So, this little hot dog stand looked charming. It is cheap enough to be  a small portion, It is not half a chicken or mutton, so I can manage.
 It  is cone. It is an ice cream cone. It is one of the best ones. It is crispy, warm,  is made there and then ( they have a machine).  There are small containers on the stall. The young man wearing ripped  disposable gloves took some shredded cabbage and lettuce and raw onions( raw onions!? number 2 item on the list), and put them in another container, then he added some white cream (allegedly mayonnaise) and sliced a hot dog  into rings. He mixed them all up and put in the cone.  Squeezed mustard green sauce (Could it be mustard?), dark ketchup colour sauce (barbecue sauce?) and added some sweet corn. Wrapped it in a paper napkin and presented it to me like an ice cream. All this for 30 Rupee.
  I sat at one of the tables carrying my 'waffle hod dog' like a torch.  With the  first bite the waffle cracks and whatever is  inside spills on to the tray. They were very mean with their tiny little paper napkins, I am covered with cabbage, white sauce, diced onions , some rings of frankfurter (non veg must be the frank), trying to lick my fingers and holding my bag at the same time. I wrestled with it for a long time, I thought everybody in the Mall was looking discreetly  at me failing to eat a waffle dog. Finally I gave up. I ended with nibbled bits of  soggy cone and sticky fingers.  Oh well. This was not my first failure in life.  But 'wafflenonveghotdog' gloriously placed itself in my Unnecessary Food List.

 Foot note: Please feel free to add to the list.

P.E. moves

1. Why the hell did I put this plate this high?
 Stretch up on your toes, reach up high with one arm, repeat with the other arm 20 times.
2.I always shoot an arrow in the morning, don't I?
 Bend right knee down. Left leg behind , a bit bent. Right arm straight, left hand holding right elbow. Change legs, arms , repeat 20 times.
3. I want to scratch my back.
Right arm bend over your head, scratch back, change arms repeat until the inch is gone
4. Going to the public loos
 Squat down as if you do not want to sit on the loo but need to pee desperately. Repeat until you really need a pee.
 5. Cockroach on its back.
 Lie down, knees bent try to do full sit ups. 20 times.
6.  Angry cat/ happy cat
 On all fours. Raise your back say 'girr', lower your back say 'miv'

7. Beached dolphin

 Lie flat on your tummy. Legs stretched. Splash your feet until you feel pathetic 

8. Gecko trying to walk with a hangover

 Lie on your tummy legs arms streched. Lift your left arm, right leg at the same time. Repeat until you give up.

9.  Go and have a shower.

ev, mev...

Ben hic evcimen biri degilim.  Ev muhabbeti, arkadas toplantisi hic bana gore degildir. Hic bir zaman salonda su takimlarim olsun, mutfakta kristallerim olsun, soyle vitrinim olsun, yapay ciceklerle kahve masalarinin ustune dantelalar koyayim  diye ozenmemisimdir.  Hong Kong Cin sinirina yakin salas bir depodan aldigim ustunde dragonlar, isiga tutunca gizli imparatorice resimleri  olan tabak canak benim icin daha kiymetlidir.  Belki de bu yuzden on bes yil once gelen dugun hediyelerinin cogu hala kutlularinda durur, ordan oraya tasinirken dolap arkalarindan ortaya cikar ve hep bizi sasirtir. 'Aaa! bunu kim getirmisiti acaba? ''hayatim bunlari kullanabilecegim yonde gelismemis anlasilan'  'ay artik bunu da bir kullanalim' diye o kargasanin icinde , kapatilmis kutular, kapatilmamis kutular, bantlar, kutu toplayici genc adamlar arasinda Bavyera kristalleri ile,  12 kisilik porselen takimlarla Kentuck Fried Chicken yeriz biz.  Kristaller, porcelenler kutulara geri konur ve bu seferde oldugu gibi gidecegimiz yere ( yanlislikla) gonderilir. Evet. 28 tane kutudan cikanlardan biri bu.  oburlerini yavas yavas aciyorum.   Uc kutu ayakkabi var.  Kirkayaklarin bile bu kadar cok ayakkabisi yoktur bence.
  Kutular uc odali evin bir odasinda duruyor, hic acelem yok. Burda 18 ay kalacagimiza gore oldukca uzun bir sure oyalanabilirim. Bu arada 5 sayfalik  bir ceviri yapilacak,  7. kattaki balkondan kucuk yesil kuslara bakilacak, -belki- yataklar yapilacak sonra aksam olacak. Bir gunde boyle gecmis olacak. Ev halini sevmemem bundan. Disarda ata binen cocuklar, inekler, 35 Derecede ( belkide hic cikmamamliyim evden) uyukluyan kopekler ve insanlar, sahibi ile duaya cikmis inekler, tapinakta 'hare, hare' diye biteviye soluklanan inananlar var. Evde bulasik makinasi bosaltmak, banyolara ( 4 tane)  havlu katlamak, kahve masasina bardak alti alsam mi diye dusunmek cok islevsiz ve gereksiz geliyor.   Ev oturmasi yerine disarda bir yerlerde , guzel cafelerde, salas pazar koselerinde  iki kelam etmek, yoldan gelip gecenin fotografini cekmek daha eylenceli.  Ama bugun evdeyim. Cunku televizyoncu gelecek.  Dun bana mesaj atti telefonumdan:'Madam' ,  'cable person' yarin 12 .00 de geliyor'.  Bende bekliyorum.  Odadan odaya dolasip, her pencereden disari bakiyorum. Her oda baska bir yone bakiyor. 7. katta oturmanin guzelligi, uzagida gorebiliyoruz. Cok uzakta Arap denizi goruluyor sisler icinde. Ustumuzden helikopterler geciyor iki de bir. Hindistanin en meshur aktorlerinden Big B yakinda bir yerde oturuyor. Araba kullanmiyormus, yollar kalabalik diye. Sesi duyulmasa da yakindaki havaalanina inen kalkan ucaklar gozukuyor bir pencereden.  Salon balkonundan yan apartmandaki kucuk sosis kopek cilginca havliyor disardaki ozgur arkadaslarina.   Soforler cricket oynuyor apartman araliklarinda.  Sarili kadinlar isil isil yuruyorlar salina salina. Ben hala televizyoncu bekliyorum.
 Dun de tup gazci beklemistim. Evde tup gaz olmasina  alisigim Cesme'den.  Nick gibi 'evde bu cirkin ve endisturi  tip kavunici sey istemem, cok tehlikeli' diye bagirismadim.   Uc gun once geirdiler tupu, Altinda bizimkilerde oldugu gibi tekerkeli yurutme yuvarlagi var. Iki adam getirip mutfagin ortasina koydu. Onlarda Ingilizce benim Hintceme esit. Ben biraktim Ingilizceyi Turkce konusuyorum ayni anlamsizlikta. el kol haraketleri  ile anlasiyoruz. Eminim 'tamam', 'ama abi', 'yok', 'gel gel' gibi sozler duydum.  Bu guzel muhabbetten sonra tupu takmadan gittiler. Cunku   baglanti aleti yok. Burda 'regulator' diyorlar galiba Turkiye'de 'detandor'. Megersem, her aileye bir regulator verilirmis, onu da kira sozlesmesi ile 'tupregulatoralmamerkezi'nden almak gerekirmis.  Cok kacak tup satilmis, cok kutfak kazalari olmus, onlarda bir eve bir tup basi yasasini getirmisler. Nick sirketteki  bu islerle ugrasan adamla cok hos bir konusma yapmis olmali ki hemen iki gun sonra takildi. Ama ben yine evde beklemek zorunda kaldim. Balkona aldigim kucuk palmiye ( biraz abartmisim galiba-20 tane) saksilarini budamaya bahcevan geldi, guvercin ve  yesil kuslar geldi,  kapici geldi, kapi actim kapadim, radyo dinledim, cay ictim bir suru. O gun oyle gecmisti. Bugun de yine boyle gececek.  ( Soylendigime bakmayin saat daha 11.30)...

Dedim ya, vaktim var nasil olsa, gideyim bir cay daha icegim.  Hayat uzun, cay cok, televizyoncu yok.

reddetmek mutluluktur.

Okul gonderme telasindan sonra hic tembellik yapmadan yukariya 'fitness salonu'na ciktim.  Bazi insanlar vardir, her yaptigi sey her zaman en guzeldir onlara gore, herseyin en iyisini  yaparlar , boburlenirler hayatlarindan; ve karnim agriyo bile dese bunu ovunulecek bir seymis gibi soyler, niye sesin karninin agrimadigina hayiflanirsin. Iste onlardan biri olan komsu hanim, benden once gelmis yurus bantinda terli sesler cikariyor. Bir saat birbirimizi yok sayip birbirimizden daha hizli yuruduk, daha agir seyler kaldirip indirdik. Odaya gelip dus aldim,  kahvaltiya indim, salata , mango, papaya kucuk fasulye filizi, mercimek ozu  yedim, odada cay yaptim kendime,  e maillerime baktim, buranin en buyuk dil okullarindan biri beni gorusmeye  cagiriyor.
 Ne hos. telefon ettim, buyrun gelin ne zaman basliyabilirsiniz, falan filan muhabbetleri.  Cok hos bir teklif. Benim burda yapacak sey olmadigi icin Kitty ve Nick'in ozel sekreteri ve hayat yonlendiricisi olmaktan kurtaracak, yemek pisirmek ve temizlikci kadina soylenmekten baska seylere yogunlasmami sagliyacak bir  is bu. Hem bu kadar yildan sonra  Ingilizce ogretmekten, sayisiz sinava hazirlamaktan da  hala keyif alirim.  Uzun uzun konustuk, hangi duzey, hangi kitap, hangi sinav, her sey cok uygun. Ama bir tek sorun var. Hergun 9.00 -2.00 arasi . Saat 2.00 de ordan cikip Kitty 'yi almaya saat 3.30 da yetismem imkansiz. . 
Insanin neye oncelik verecegini  gozden gecirmesi iyi oluyor arada sirada. Kitty'i okuldan almaya gitmek (Halbuki Petersfield de seviniyordum, buyudu artik kendisi okula gidip geliyor diye) hem onun arkadaslarini gormek, hem arkadas anneleri ile tanismak, hemde bir sorun oldugu zaman ( ben soylenen bir anneyim) hemen gidip ogretmenlere konusmak icin gerekli. Bu birinci oncelik. Hem sonra bir suru tapinak, bir suru yeni sokak, kucuk dukkan, pazar, gidilecek 'kahve toplantilari',  gonullu olunacak bir suru aktivite, okunacak bir suru kitap, bir suru fotograf  var. Aksama ne pisirecegim telasi, sulanacak cicekler, balkondan bakilacak yesil papagan gibi kuslar var. 
 Ve teklifi reddettim. Inanmazsiniz bana nasil iyi geldi bu. Reddettim, cunku secim yapabiliyorum.  Reddettim cunku kizim daha onemli ve 'hayir' demeye gucum var.  Ve artik burda calisma izinim olmadigi icin zorunlu olarak anne ve es rolunu oynamak zorunda  birakildigim icin hayiflanmiyacagim. 
 Ablam  Banu skypei acmis. sabah saat 7.30 orda. Ben  sen sakrak konusurken o sabah telasi icinde.  Bir cirpida hersey anlattim ona ,'Oooo' dedi  'neler yasamissin sabah sabah', burda bir sey olacaga benzemiyor'.  Kikirdadik,  ben disari ciktim, kosedeki amcaya Nick'in pantalonlarini verdim kisaltmasi icin, tapinaga gidip Krishna gorunce sevinen insanlara baktim, anneme yarim kilo organik yesil cay aldim,   Cafe Coffee Day diye bir yere gidip  hindistan cevizi sutlu soguk kahve ictim, kasim pati cicek saksisi tasiyan bir Budhist dilencinin resmini cektim,  sonra eve geldim.  Hayat guzel.
 Reddetmek mutluluktur, secim yapmaktir, istemiyebilmektir.

Henna Lady

 Vile Parle is 10 minutes away from where we live. It is has a down market shopping street. There are shops on the right and left of the busy road with a traffic barrier all the way down the middle. This makes life quite difficult; you cannot cross the road whenever and wherever you want. So if you want to withdraw money for example there are two ATMs; one on this side, and one on the other. You either have to walk all the way to the end of the street or find a gap in this concrete barrier. There is also an old river not flowing under a bridge. There are big water hydrants for some unknown reason and the smell of stale, stagnant water reminds you of rubbish, rotten vegetables, old shoes submerged in the water without their owner, rags of some description and how it would be when it rains in a couple of months’ time.

There are shopping arcades, children’s clothes shops, ‘western’ outfits, traditional Indian clothes, t-shirts, leggings, fruit stalls, bags, expensive fake Guccis, PBs, wedding sari shops,  tiny stalls which sell freshly roasted chickpeas and a dark root. It is as ugly and crooked as ginger root but completely blackened through being buried and slowly coal roasted. They present it broken open. The flesh inside is pleasantly white. I dare not try.

 In this crowded street of people, stalls, and auto- rickshaws, a woman sits on a metal folding chair in front of a wedding sari shop. I went in the shop once. Lovely young girls with their mothers and mother- in- laws were choosing shimmery saris. They looked at me with disbelief. What could an aging gora want from a sari shop?  There are lots of people in these shops, I can’t tell who the shop assistant is or who the shopper, the owner. They all look at me with the same indifference.  I try to catch their eye to ask a question, they each and every one of them murmur something to one another. Finally I they tell me that the henna lady will be there in the afternoon.

 She sits in front of the shop on a simple folding chair. She has her little shoulder bag and some books. There are a bunch of cones on the little stool next to her. You sit down opposite her. Either you choose a design or she creates one there and then. She squeezes the cone and there comes out lattices, bridges, flowers, rows and rows of black henna nozzles out on to your hand.  We chat while she is doing it. She has two children, one boy, and one girl. The boy is studying law, the girl administration.  They speak fluent French. Her husband is in the construction business. Her name is Jayshree. Her husband finds this beautiful name too long, calls her Jay. She comes there after 5.00 in the afternoon. She is not only a henna lady. She is an artist. She can henna long feathered peacocks, lucky palaces or   your and your husband’s portraits on your fore arms. She does with little hand movements, gently squeezing the cone full of henna. People walk by they stop and ask questions in Hindi. She stops, explains and gives her price. She goes to wedding ceremonies as well. All day she would sit at a corner where the young girls fill the room with giggles almost entranced by the large number of females under one room talking about marriage and men and other things married couples do.

 Kitty has been to her before. This is her second henna. Mehendi they call it here. She wants a longer one covering her palm, back of her hand and arm. It takes her ten minutes to cover Kitty’s arm. She leaves dark intricate trails of shapes interlocking, following one another. She invites us for dinner; we learn that she does not cook too spicy food. She likes Shiva like me but her favourite is Parvarti, Shiva’s devoted wife. In the evenings she watches Hindi soaps about their love and peace.  The children are grown up now, they are not interested in Shiva stories, they want to go to France.  We invite him to England for Kitty’s high school graduation.   On that small chair, in the heart of Irla Street, we chuckle away over squeezed henna. There is a sweet smell of burning sandal wood. A man walks pass with a huge orange turban, earphones dangling down his white shirt.  A bare foot man pushes a hand barrow full of cauliflowers; young ladies go in and out of the sari shop. It is getting dark slowly. Time to go home.

the wish list

 By Mukul Sharma

A man once found an antique brass lamp half-buried in the sand. If I cleaned this, he thought, what a fine present it would make for someone. Back at home, however, he discovered he had no brass polish. As he sat there wondering what to do, idly rubbing the lamp with his fingers, there was a poof of smoke and out popped a genie.

"Thanks for freeing me," said the imp, stretching its body, "and for that, you get three wishes. But hurry up, because I've got a lot of stuff to do." The stunned man was so taken aback that all he could blurt out was, "Well, um, I wish had some brass polish and a buffing cloth." The genie was aghast. "You don't get it, do you, dude?" he said. "You can wish for fame, power, money, women - anything. So think, what'll it be?"

"Right," said the abashed man, "Ia¦ I wish to be the most intelligent person in the world." The genie snapped his fingers three times and the man's IQ immediately shot up to 300, but before he could use his enormous intellect, the genie's voice interrupted him, saying, "Second wish!" The man thought and said, "I wish to be an awakened soul like the Buddha." Again, the fingers snapped thrice and he was instantly enlightened.

"You've got a third and final wish left," the genie reminded the man who had slippedinto a meditative trance.He opened his eyes like lotus leaves unfurl at dawn but he didn't speak till a frustrated genie said, "Yes, I realise you probably don't wish anything any more but, hey, rules are rules." In turn, the man looked at him with infinite gentleness and said, "Oh but I do. I wish for some brass polish and a buffing cloth."
 taken from 'cosmic uplink' The edit page 14 the Economic Times Mumbai Tuesday February 2012

adam, kadin, Ataturk

Ben indigimde kahvalti salonu bostu. Ise giden insanlar coktan yola koyulmuslar, geride kalan es ve cocuk grubu daha uyanip asagiya inmemis. Salonun sol kosesinde televizyonuda , geleni gecenide gorebilecegim bir masaya oturuyorum. Artik beni taniyarlar, mutfak girisinden soruyor ‘Yesil cay?’ tombul sevimli bir garson.  Bana cayimi geirirken ben gazete, karpuz kavun papaya tabagi ile   masama donerken onlari gordum. Ayaklarini suruyerek benim yanimdaki masaya oturmaya geliyorlar.  Erkegi sakalli ve uzun entarili, kimseyle konusmaya niyetleri olmadigi  belli. Kendine herkesi ve televizyonu da gorebilecegi sandalyeyi seciyor. Kadina elinin tersiyle yanina arkasini dunyaya donerek oturmasini gosteriyor. Halbuki kadin obur koseye yonelmisti. Bir nebze ozgurluk belki cay icien insanlar gorebilecekti.  Adam  sandalet giymis. Hani o cok meshur Irak’ta Bush’a   firlatilan  sandaletlerden. Kadinin ayaginda siyah corap ve duz kapali ayakkabi var.  Garson isteklerini soruyor adama. Adam cok duzgun Amerikan aksanli Ingilizce ile cevap veriyor. Kadin sadece adamla konusuyor, ‘ben sunu isterim, bunu isterim’, adam garsona soyluyor. Kadinin Ingilizcesi adamdan daha da guzel, ama tombul garsonla konusmuyor. Garson ne yapacagini ogrenmis coktan, hic sasirmadan bu uclu muhabbete adamla, kadinin istedikleri hakkinda konusuyor.

kadin:Yagda yumurta istiyorum
adam:yagda yumurta istiyor
garson :iki mi bir mi?
adam- iki mi istiyorsun bir mi?
kadin : iki
adam: iki tane istiyor
garson :peki.

 Kendi aralarinda Arapca konusuyorlar, adam gazete okuyor, ara sira televizyona bakiyor yan gozle. Muzik kanalinda Madonna ‘Like a virgin’ diye kivraniyor, Lady gaga  yerlerle yuvarlaniyor ten rengi bikinisi ile. Kadin bunlari goremiyor, adam gazetenin ustunden goz atiyor . Cay ve yagda yumurta geldiginde ince pideyi sag eliyle kopartip yumurtaya baniyor. Gordugum en zor kahvaltida yumurta keyfi.  Eller siyah eldivenli, yuzundeki siyah ortuyu sol eli ile aralayip, yumurta ve pideyi tek elle yemege calisiyor, yumurta damliyor, pecete  silmeye yetmiyor, siyah  ortu  ve siyah eldivenler yumurtaya bulasiyor, cay icmek icin el silinip cay fincani tutuluyor, sol elle ortu aralanip fincan yuze yaklasiyor. Televizyonda ‘ I kissed a girl and I liked it’ sevimli sevimli havayi yumusatmaya calisiyor.  Ben daha ne kadar onlari izledigim belli olmasin diye ugrasabilirim diye kalkip elma almaya gidiyorum. Ayagimda ince yuksek topuklu parmak arasi sandalet, minice etek ve kisa kollu t shirt var. topuklarin tik tik elmaya yoneliyor, sag ayak bilegimde gul dogmesi. Elimde  elma ile masaya yonelirken goz goze geliyoruz. Siyah kumasla kaplanmis yuzunde bir cizgi iki goz goruyorum. Bir karanlik kutle halinde sarisi akmis yumurta tabagi ile oturuyor. ‘Ataturk’diye bagirmak istiyorum ‘Ataturk.’

Inroduction to Indian temples 101

 When you go in to a church, however old, however early it may be, you would recognize the frescoes, statues, figures on glass windows. Since you have been or seen lots of churches, cathedrals, chapels, you have knowledge of the subject matter. Mother and child, Virgin Mary, Joseph, Christ and his miracles, etc., etc. However ‘naïve’, however simple  the paintings are it is quite easy to decode the stories on the walls, since we kind of know what they are. It is quite similar in Islam as well, if you know  a bit about the religion you admire the tiles, the carpets,  you would know where the imam sits, or goes up for the call of prayers.  You would not expect to find pictures or statues there.

This is not the case when you go in to temples in India. If the information about Indian religions start and finish with the pictures on Indian restaurant walls, the smell of incense and Lady Di sitting on a bench at Taj Mahal; one temple resembles another and it does not go beyond walking bare foot in stone floors covered with tired orange flowers and tablecloth offerings. If you think you will rather read Wikipedia to learn about them, please do so, If not keep on reading. I am going to tell you about the basics of temple images.
Years and years ago a very rich man who had a lot of money to spend on art and faith, gave a lot of money to an artisan and asked him to carve him a statue of god so he would be as immortal as the statue itself. He was given a big black stone.  The stone was dark black, tall and round, like an upside down jam jar. It was a crude, unpolished boulder. The artisan thought about how he would do this, how he can capture the idea of god. He dreamed of the feathers of peacocks, the necessity of crows, the lines of the zebra, the mushiness of mango, the hotness of red chillies, the hanging branches of the banyan trees, the white kohl of tigers’ eye.   The coolness of the monsoons, the muddy waters of the rivers ached his soul. The greatness of creation, the need to witness this creation to admire it, the beauty of ‘form’ overwhelmed and humbled him.  ‘when’ he thought , ‘god created this boulder like this, he must have given the concept of life, death, creation and recreation, the on-going circle of life, the power and the beauty of simple but complex things on earth and heavens to this simple rock’. God is the container of all forms, therefore he is formless, but a form is needed to access this idea.  . He is capable of anything and everything. He is the container of infinity. This boulder before his very eyes was the ultimate projection of god and faith. So he left it as it is.  This form is the most basic, the simplest idea of god. It has everything in it. God exists because we believe.  This boulder  is the amalgamation of god the creator, protector and the destroyer .This is called Linga.

Linga is the abstract form of Shiva. Shiva is the pure one, he is purified of all forms, he cannot be contained in space or time, and he does not need a form either. Since it is formless, it is easy to personalise it. He is erect, phallic and alert but very calm and serene, like the boulder. When you believe in Shiva, you are impressed  by the power of god and creation and  you realise how small and unimportant things in everyday  life . Then you can leave cakes and doughnuts behind, foot massages and expensive perfumes, new saris, houses with four bedrooms, fish and chips on Sunday evenings, x factor conversations during the week, endless private lessons, the need to have birthday parties and new flip flops, chewing beetle leaves, and nibbling on roasted chick peas on street corners, leave all these worldly things aside and be content with the serenity that comes slowly.

 Linga sits comfortably in the middle of the temples.  There may be lots of other forms of Shiva on the walls. This linga is very proud of its modest form. He does not expect anything if you are not aware of its importance. Poeple   circumnavigate and decorate the form-the idea of god with ripe mango coloured flower petals, the shiniest, most colourful strips of scarves. They wash it with water, sometimes with milk. They take their shoes off; put their foreheads on the ground facing him.  Shiva in human form and his wife on the other altars wait for their turn.  I will tell the stories of human forms of Shiva later.

Hint Mitolojisine giris 101

Hindistan’da tapinaklara gidince bir suru heykel gorursunuz.  ‘ Bu heykeller bunlarin tanrilari herhalde, nedir canim bunlar!?’ diye gecip giderseniz avuc icleri size donuk  fil kafali, kobra yilanli, kaplan , geyik, kopek, canavar gibi  heykeller size bir sey ifade etmez., ‘insan nelere de tapiyor en guzel din bizimkisi valla’ diye gururlanirsiniz. Tapinak gezi yazilari yazarken, ‘duvarlarda da bir suru heykel var’ deyip gecmemek icin tanrilarin hikayelerini ogrenmek  lazim. Efes’ e gidip. ‘her yer de tas canim, hic bir sey anlamadim’ demek var, Oralari Erden’le gezip butun heykellerin hangi tanriya, hangi Imparatora ait oldugunu bilmek var.  ‘Ben bunlari Wikipedia dan okurum, bir ayda ne ogrenmistir zaten’ diyorsaniz bu yazi sizin icin degil. Eger  ‘bu kiz sivrisinek viziltisinda bile ruhani bir sey bulur, kimbilir neler ogrenmistir’ diyorsaniz, ben okudugum hikayeleri size anlatacagim. Meddah’in cok uzak tan bir torunu gibi iskemleye oturup, havlumu omzuma koyup basliyorum.

 Cok yillar once , en zengin adamlardan biri  bir heykel sanatcisina yukluce bir para ve bir kocaman kara kaya vermis. Kara granitten ve ters cevrilmis bir kavanoz gibi, Mevlananin sarigi gibi ,yogurt uyuturken ananelerin yaptigi havlu yumagi gibi bir seymis bu kaya.  Biraz da ayip bir sekli varmis nerdeyse.  ‘Bana tanrinin heykelini yap, dunya durdukca bu tanri heykeli ile birlikte bende anilayim’ demis. Heykel sanatcisi tanriyi en guzel ne anlatir diye dusunmus,  gulun dikenine, tavus kusunun kuyruguna, bezelyenin sayisina,esegin surme gozune, leoparin desenine, ayak parmaklarinin besine ,zurafanin boynuna, gobek deliginin islevine  bakmis, filin kocaman cussesinde cevaplar aramis, yumurtadaki gucu gormus, tanrinin anlami ne ola ki diye dusunurken yaradilis ve olum, ve hayatin devaminin koruyucusu olan Shiva tanrisini nasil kayaya yansitacagina karar vermis… ‘O buyuk kara kaya tanrinin ta kendisi’ demis. Eger tanri bu kayayi boyle yaratmayi istemisse , kendi gucunu, olumu ve yoklugu ve olumsuzlugu ve hayatin donusumunu bunda gostermistir. O sonsuzlugun sahibi,sekilsizligin sekli, dokunulmazligin dokunusu, karmasanin duzenidir.

 Iste bunun adi Linga. Tanrinin en soyut heykeli. En oz sekli.  Hitit ana tanricasi Kibele’nin hani o iki yaninda kaplanlarin oturdugu tahtinda kocaman tombul memeli  halinden yuzyillar sonra soyut kibar seklinden daha da soyut. Oyle kara ,bazen bazalt , bazen puturuklu bir kaya. Tanrinin sekli yoktur, siniri yoktur.  Cok seyleri temsil eder. Shiva nin derin dusuncede  dimdik, aklinin ve bilincinin uyanik oldugundan tutunda , hayatin devamliligini ve ne olursa olsun baki kalacak olanin hayatin ozu olduguna kadar bir cok sey.  Meditasyon oturus seklinin en ‘naïve’ sekli. Eger bu dusunceye inanirsa insanlar, hirs, para , guc, sehvet , falan filan gibi cok cekici , insani insan kilan vazgecilmesi en zor olan seylerden( mesela raki balik sohbeti, gunes batarken soguk Efes,  , televizyondaki fariha dizisi,dondurma,sevgilini gorunce ic erimesi, ipek ic camasiri, cay simit dedikodu ) arinir huzura kavusur.

 Tapinaklarda en ortada, duvarlarda Shiva , hanimi, ikinci hanimi, cocugu, colugu , cuceler, kaplan, tavus kusu, fare (her tanrinin ustune binip dolastigi bir hayvan var) vs. vs, heykellerin ortasinda oylece sakin, alcak gonullu ama tek basina durur . Insanlar onun yanina gelirken ayakkabi cikarirlar,  kasimpati cicekleri koyarlar ustune basina. Canakla su, bazen sut dokerler, diz cokup alinlarini yere koyarlar, avuclarini birbirlerine bastirip baslarinin ustune kaldirirlar ve dua ederler.  Renkli kumas parcalari dolarlar etrafina.  Iste bazi tapinaklarda  ortada gordugumuz o yontulmamis tas budur.

a good day

 Today started with every muscle on my body aching. I almost forgot that I had an hour's painful training session yesterday-luckily she can not come today. There was an information session about IB syllabus and I almost did not go. Syllabus meetings find me here too. New school, new faces, new teachers, so I went. I am glad I did. We had an hour and a half's very well organised workshop  on 'Approaches To Learning' . One of the Spanish teachers( apparently there are six) led it.  The parents were asked to answer some riddles in groups, go in and out of hula hoops simultaneously, find a mistake in a simple calculation and also we had a discussion on 'bull fighting'.  He underlined the importance of having a voice and asking the right questions, how organisation helps  and  how teachers, parents need to support students.
 After the meeting I met a French mother, we went for coffee. She drinks tea like me- black no sugar-. I almost said 'we are supposed to not like each other'. 'I should add you to the list of French beans, French manicure and French plait to be disliked'. But we are in India, we can forget about that side of the world. She wanted me to give her private English lessons too. We exchanged numbers and my driver came.

 The second part of the day was going to be spent on buying good support shoes. My heel is still bad and not getting any better, I was told to have gel heeled shoes. Linking Road is the only place I can go and come back to pick Kitty up at 3.30. ( You need to have an ID card to go in and pick the child up. Otherwise they are not allowed to leave the school on their own). The driver took me there and I almost crossed the street, waiting on the non existing traffic island, a young man came and asked if I wanted a free model hair cut from Tony and Guy. They wanted blond(!?) hair to practice. 'It is over there, at the end of the road' he said. I accepted the offer, then he said, 'look, I have another friend who is trying to find models too'. A very hip Japanese man was talking to some young girls, I saw the girls  shaking their heads. He is not that lucky. They stopped a rickshaw, one on my right the other one on my left we started the journey. How naive I am, how stupid I am to say 'yes' and get on a rickshaw with 20-22 year old boys! How am I going explain this to anybody if something happens. 'They said there was a free haircut' sounds so not credible, no one would believe me. Then we stopped in front of some shops ,on the second floor of Tommy Hilfiger, there was a real Tony and Guy studio. It took me two hours and I had the best haircut of my life by a young man who wants to be the best hairdresser New Delhi has  ever seen.
 I went to pick Kitty up with a smile on my face. May be that is what I needed in life, a good educational morning and good haircut.